[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yup8Ndb5RaQ[/youtube]
Woah what the fuck is that floating head? Oh wait, that's just zs471. If it isn't Mr. I'm cool because I've been in the same Minecraft community for five years. Always trying to be friends with everyone since you can't make any in real life. Thinking everything is always a joke, but the only one laughing is you. The only thing anyone else finds funny about you is your life, your entire life is a joke. You've spent the past 5 years addicted to a Minecraft server. Computer nerd with no job or social skills joins the Army thinking it will save his life from going to shit. Now all you do in your free-time is insult children on the internet. The worst part about that is you don't even let them defend themselves to you, you hide behind a fake name, keep up a friendly facade and hope nobody finds out it was you. You're so shit you don't even realize what you're doing, about as consistent as pigeon shit in New York City, so consistently shit you're about to sink yourself. Don't worry though, I won't let you sink, because I'm about to fucking drown your ass. You act like you're top shit on a Minecraft server, on a MINECRAFT SERVER. Think you're somehow inherently better than everyone else, tell me, which part of your life is better than anyone else's? Is it your complete and utter lack of social skills? Your amazing ability to insult others over the internet while staying anonymous? The fact that you can't make any friends in real life so you had to have your cousin record your little video? What about the part where you sold your freedom to the government because you were drowning in life and couldn't figure out how to swim. You don't even really have any friends on the server, we all just put up with you and your narcissistic attitude. The only people who like you are your little group who can have most of this rant applied to their lives as well. You talk like you're big and bad, but from the second you stepped out from behind that tree I knew you weren't shit. With your crooked ass hairline, overgrown on the sides, over-used pencil eraser lookin' ass head. Fucking four eyes, no nose, you the only one who can't smell what the rock is cooking, bet you can see it though. Crooked ass glasses, lookin' stupid with that half-grin on your face the whole time. Face looking like a smashed up 2017 Kia Sorento. Your voice sounds like an annoying bumble bee, but you're named after a slow ass snail. Thinking you're tough as nails, but you're really soft as snails. Your humor is so stale, skin so pale, the way you actin' you should be locked up in jail. Daddy so frail, mommy lookin' like a whale, do I need to spell it out for you in braille?

I'm really jealous, jealous of all the people who haven't met you, but now that I feel like I've finally introduced you, why don't I slip you into something a little more comfortable, like a coma.
Written by: zs471 #RoastYourself